In this newest video (see above), I explain one of the most common things I hear as a therapist about the trend of positive affirmations.

Think positive? Throw away your negativity? Grin and bear it? Just repeat “I am confident” over and over again? Bathe yourself in “love and light” and ignore the uncomfortable feelings inside you? This is not my approach.

I’ve been vocal in the community about the harm of “toxic positivity” and why fluffy feel-good ideas may feel nice in the moment, but they’re helping you address what’s going on inside. Positive affirmations can work, but only when you’ve done the necessary work first. Why? Most of the time, it’s because we haven’t addressed the underlying feelings underneath. My dear, it takes time to change deep-rooted beliefs and patterns. Please don’t let any “quick fix” scheme tell you otherwise.

For self-coping phrases that actually work, you can download my FREE digital guide of 21 Anti-Affirmations for Self Love (it’s a tongue-in-cheek title, but I couldn’t help myself 🙂 ) I compiled these phrases from years of working with real clients, and they are designed to validate your feelings rather than avoid them. Check it out!

If you’re anxious, I HIGHLY recommend trying online therapy or coaching.

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Your story. What’s your opinion on positive affirmations or toxic positivity? Leave a comment below 🙂


Gloria Zhang